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Post by bonja on Feb 20, 2007 5:13:30 GMT -5
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that? Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb ass' is it?" Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother".
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Post by madok on Feb 20, 2007 18:48:00 GMT -5
Lol Good Story!!! but its a humorous way to bring up a serious issue. We need to work as a team, whether we loss or win as a team, we're a team. Well i'd like to see a few more inputs on this and maybe ways to make this guild more team orientated.
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Post by janolan on Feb 21, 2007 1:54:20 GMT -5
That reminds me of a good joke...
A woman and her husband are in bed one night and he is in the mood... so he tells her this and she gets really mad at him, and says "I don't understand why you can't just hold me? Why can't you love me for me and not for the things I can do for you??" With this, the husband gives up, rolls over and goes to sleep.
The next morning, the husband wakes his wife and tells her he is taking her out somewhere. So he drives her to the nearest department store and she starts looking at all of the clothes. He says "Honey, take whatever you want" She says "Really?" and excitedly grabs the shirts she was admiring. They head over to the shoe department and again the husband says she can take whatever she wants. The wife is starting to get really excited and wondering what caused this sudden change in her husband. The last stop is the jewelry counter and the husband tells his wife she can take the beautiful gold necklace in the display case. The wife starts heading towards the register and the husband goes "Now wait a second honey... I just wanted you to HOLD these things... Why can't you love me for me and not the things I can buy for you??"
That has nothing to do with the other joke, but I think its funny haha ;D
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Post by bonja on Feb 23, 2007 4:57:41 GMT -5
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
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Post by winterbliss on Feb 27, 2007 1:01:10 GMT -5
;D Ah ha ha ha that's freaking funny. But then again I'd probably run like hell to. Poor guy.
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Post by viava on Mar 1, 2007 5:39:17 GMT -5
Funny stuff
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Post by apriandra on Mar 19, 2007 15:33:15 GMT -5
Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
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Post by madok on Mar 20, 2007 13:09:06 GMT -5
AHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by apriandra on Apr 2, 2007 10:31:00 GMT -5
Dear Billy joe Bob, I'm writting this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for fourdays. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning,but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. Your Favorite Aunt
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Post by apriandra on Sept 19, 2007 7:39:05 GMT -5
Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was now on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a tall building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Bob asked, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Bob placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Bob replied, "I can't take your money; I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and so I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again!"
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Post by clairebelle on Sept 20, 2007 11:58:37 GMT -5
Crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"
"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."
"The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
"1957, ma'am."
"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1957! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1957!"
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."
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Post by neverending on Sept 20, 2007 20:39:55 GMT -5
This stuff is too wacked to even laugh. I couldn't think of anything funny to type even if I betted $15,000 dollars on it and I was being chased by the mafia!
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Post by viejo on Sept 21, 2007 3:50:09 GMT -5
This one has a moral I'm afraid, but it's still funny.
The parents of a set of identical twins called a Psychologist, because the twins were exhibiting some radical behaviour. One of them was always happy, and the other was always discontented. No matter what happened, this was always the case.
The Psychologist designed an experiment to document the bahaviour. The malcontent twin was placed in a room full of brand new popular toys. The happy twin was placed in a room 2 feet deep in horse crap. They were left alone for a half hour. When the half hour had passed, the Psychologist returned to see what had happened.
He came to the room full of toys, and through the door, he could hear loud crying and crashing noises. He opened the door, and the twin had broken half of the toys, and was throwing the pieces around the room. The Psychologist asked the twin what was wrong, and the twin replied "There are so many toys in here, I couldn't decide which ones to play with". The psychologist noted this and proceeded to the next room.
Sounds of laughter eminated from the room full of horse crap. The Pshychologist opened the door, and saw the twin jumping around, digging joyfully though the muck. When asked about this behaviour, the twin replied: "All this poo, there's got to be a pony in here somewhere, and I'm going to find it!"
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Post by enrictheslayer on Sept 27, 2007 13:47:56 GMT -5
I wish I had the optimism to jump around gleefully in a room full of horse crap.
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Post by apriandra on Dec 17, 2007 10:11:18 GMT -5
This Year's First Christmas Joke. Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,"You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates". The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "These are Carols ." And So The Christmas Season Begins......
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